the mind likes to have control...

But I will not let...the mind likes to play tricks on me. It likes to tell me that it is okay to eat something...just this once....it won't hurt. But I know I need to fight back.

This morning it was trying to tell me I didn't need to go workout...that I had done two workouts yesterday....that it was too cold...that I would be late to work...that I couldn't do it...that it was too soon after doing the C25K day 7 yesterday. But my body, well my body, was saying "why not!" My body said it was up for it. It said let's just go.

So, I went...and I do not regret it. It was a good run. Slow but good.

Food prep for the week...and probably a few more days...

Well, tomorrow I start the Whole 30. I want to be prepared so I cooked up quite a bit tonight. I know a lot of bloggers post photos of their food on a daily basis and that, well, just isn't me. But I did take a few photos to show you all what I am prepping for the week. The best thing is that everything I am cooking tonight will be frozen in single servings so that I can just grab what I feel like at the moment and I can vary it throughout the week and beyond.

So, here is what I made tonight.

Green egg muffins, basically eggs with broccoli and spinach, baked in muffin cups



Deconstructed cabbage rolls (organic ground turkey, roasted cabbage and tomatoes)


Cinnamon beef stew from the Well Fed cookbook (great book and website...check it out here)


The refrigerator is stocked with vegetables (broccoli, kale, asparagus) and some fruit (blackberries and apples). I am ready.

I like numbers....

I am a math geek (there I have now officially announced to the blog world that I am a geek). I love numbers. They have never scared me. I like the precision of numbers. I love equations and problem solving. I like that there is one answer to most math problems. I love the logic of solving systems of equations and mathematical problems.

That's why, over the past few years, my weight loss journey has been so difficult for me. I struggled as the equation of calories in versus calories out just did not work. I diligently wore a body bugg for months. I counted calories, added up points, but the equations never seem to yield the expected results. Per my body bugg, I was burning upwards of 4500 to 5000 calories on work out days and 3000 or so on "rest" days. My calories were restricted to much lower levels but still the scale would bounce around, up and down a few pounds. My mathematical brain was stressed.

I have struggled to find the missing part of the problem. Based on the research I have been doing and just listening to my own body, I know the missing part is that FOR ME, it may be more about the quality of calories I am consuming than the number of them. I have been focusing on nutritionally dense foods since January and I can tell you that I am feeling good. My energy levels continue to be high. My sleeping patterns are good. I am alert and mentally aware of things.

What is the next step? I want to improve the quality of my food intake so I am going to challenge myself to undertake the Whole 30. This idea is to eat high quality nutritionally dense foods and leave behind all the crap (even some of the not so bad for you crap like dark chocolate). More details can be found here.

To be honest, since January 7th, my food choices have been close to what they suggest with the Whole 30. So why am I doing it? Well, I know that I probably consume too much dark chocolate, too many nuts....all not so bad for you food but things that I should watch how much I intake.

I also think that making a decision to do this will force me to cook at home for 30 days. We have cut way down on our eating out of late and that is great but with the Whole 30, I will want to know exactly what I am eating. So, for instance, eating chicken noodle soup without the noodles at the soup and salad place we frequent for lunch is not the best choice in my primal lifestyle. During the Whole 30, I would not even consider this. I will have to be more creative about lunches and things.

I have known about the Whole 30 for sometime but have not taken the step to complete. I am ready now. I know I will be able to do it. With all my lifestyle changes so for for 2012, I do not anticipate much issue with following through on things but I do think it will be a learning experience. Oh, and I can't step on a scale during the 30 days....another good thing for my obsessive brain.

I start on Monday and I am sure I will be blogging about it often over the next 30 days. I may even get into take food photos.

"It is not hard. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Quitting heroin is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard." From the Whole30 program.

Surround yourself with like minded people....

I remember reading this advice at some point along my journey. It was an article that was expounding on the values of a good support system on the weight loss journey. At the time, believe me, I was not interested at all in a "strong support" system. I am, by nature and genetics, a loner. I am not a talker. Although I do have fun with people when in social situations and I do not shy away from them, I am very much comfortable being by myself. If my husband is away for a few days, I can honestly spend 24 hours or more without talking to anyone.

I have always considered myself a strong person, one who really did not need help from others. I think I have always been this way.

Lately, however, without my realizing it, I have started to build a very strong support system. I have people that I can talk to about my primal/paleo struggles. I have people that encourage me to try new physical challenges. I have friends I email about the mental battles. There are people I "know" on-line that have been helpful in my pursuit. I have noticed that having this support system has made the journey more palatable.

Someone asked me what motivates me to work out. I would say that surrounding myself with like minded people has definitely helped me put myself out there. I thank each and every one of them for the part they are playing in my life. I hope they all know how important they are to me.

I would encourage you all to find people in your life that will encourage you, support you, inspire you. Seek them out and surround yourself with like minded people. Take it from a lone wolf, it is amazing how much it can help.

"You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." -- Winne the Pooh

More on the stair climb....

Yesterday was an emotional day for me and it led to a bit of a sleepless night. It could have been the adrenaline from the physical activity of the day. It could have been my brain just working through some of the emotions. Whatever it was, I decided I needed to make another post about it.

First let's talk about the start of the race. I really was not ready when I found myself on the start line. I had not taken a moment to mentally prepare for the "GO". You start individually at the line and this guy holds you up for a few seconds for the gap between climbers. I was still fumbling with my iPod when he said "GO". I want to say "WAIT" but I went. I climbed and was a bit out of sorts and overwhelmed for a few flights, feeling that I wasn't going to finish and how much I was going to fail. I took my first break at some point around floor eight and had to pull myself together. I changed the song on my iPod and did a little self talk. I then started again and did pretty well until floor 20 or so. I only did a few minor breathing stops until I hit floor 26. My training had only been 25 floors at a time and it was at that point that I really had to tell myself that I could do this. It was about this point that I started taking a couple of laps at the landings every 2nd floor to breathe deeply.

Around floor 40, when I should have been happy that it was almost over, I started to comtemplate doing my breathing laps at every landing but I knew I didn't need to do that. I knew at that point it was just a mental fight. So, I kept up the every two floor mark, even if the laps at the landings became long, I still kept it up. At this point too, I no longer noticed what song was on my iPod. I was just climbing. I was just going to finish and I did. My trainer, Kristin, and a couple of others were there at the top to meet me. I knew they had finished well before me but I did so appreciate them being there. I even let her hug me, sweat and all. (If you know me, you know I am not a huggy person, especially when sweaty.) I had made it! How fast, I had no idea but I was pretty share I had come in around my goal.

I realized at some point last night that in my post I never officially stated what my time was. I talked about surpassing my goal but not the actual time. Now there are people that I did share both my goal and my actual time with. I tried to figure out why I would share with some but not with others.

Although I am very proud that I did this climb, I guess a bit of me was a bit disappointed that I could not even target a "normal" time. You see, my target time for the climb was somewhere between 30 and 40 minutes and I completed in 29:04. This is more than twice as long as the average person on my team. BUT it is faster than the time I thought I was going to do.

It is also amazing that I even attempted to do this. It was not that many years ago that I would have been gasping just climbing to the third floor apartment that my friends had. I would not have even thought that 56 floors was a possibility.

Next year, I am going to work on this and have a goal of cutting 5 minutes off of this time. I think that is in the realm of possibility. I will do this again and I will improve my time.

I do want to note that I was on a team for this climb. Everyone on my team was very supportive and I do appreciate that. I also raised more money for the American Lung Association than I thought was possible. I have some very generous friends. I also had so many friends that were supportive in so many ways. All in all, it was a good day yesterday....a very good day.

YEA ME!!!

I did the 56 floor stair climb today...I had a range of times that I was shooting for and I am proud to say that I beat the lower end of that range by 56 seconds and the higher end of the range by 10 minutes and 56 seconds!

I am very proud to say that I accomplished this!

As my tea "fortune" said in January, "Happiness comes when you overcome the most impossible challenges." I did that today. I really did.

Not worrying about what others think...

I have recently started to follow a new blog. I have found a lot of her blogs to be helpful and insightful. She posted a blog about not worrying about what others think (read it here).

It got me thinking about how a few years ago, I pretty much decided that I had to stop worrying about what others thought of me. That decision led me to be able to do many things that I would not thought were realistic in the past. I posted a comment to this blog and I would like to expand on it here.

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I was able to focus on me and healing myself.

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I was able to say “NO” and able to stand up for myself.

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I was able to take the first step to fitness by donning a swimsuit and go to the rec center pool.

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I was able to join a gym and work out at a variety of things.

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I was able to start liking myself.

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I took a two week solo trip and went to the many spectacular places like the Grand Canyon and experienced so many things.

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I was able to start walking, running, playing and enjoying being outside.

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I was able to start talking to others and finding so much support.

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I was able to be honest with friends about what the changes I am making in my life.

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I was able to ignore the experts and start to figure out what works for me!

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I started to participate in charity events and raise money for good causes. (Tomorrow a 56 floor stair climb for the American Lung Association!)

When I stopped caring about what other people thought, I was actually able to start loving others.

I think it is a good thing to stop thinking about what others think. Honestly, I find that most people are self absorbed and not really thinking about you. Sure, there are exceptions but I think you find a lot of support among your friends for positive lifestyle changes you are making. If not, maybe you need to reconsider your network of friends.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." --Dr. Suess